How Become A Boring Filmmaker In 10 Easy Steps?

How terribly and drippingly cool to work in the creative industries. You get to wear the coolest clothes, sport the strangest hair dye and give yourself the most glamorous sounding job description imaginable - and get away without proving any real talent or ability.

Another defining aspect of the creative industries is there is no code of conduct which means anyone can say pretty much anything about themselves without having any proof to back themselves up.

This creates a situation where filmmakers in particular have become boring.

Here, tongue firmly in cheek, are 10 ways to become a boring filmmaker:

1. Use complicated film industry slang words
Why speak clearly and sensibly when you can, in fact, roll the simplest concept into a series of complicated scenarios. Brush up on film industry definitions. Sprinkle these terms liberally through each sentence that you speak or write. The more obscure the term the better.

2. Sound really important
When asked any question, respond by lowering your voice, clearing your throat slowly and meticulously - and then begin to speak. Speak in phrases that sound meaningful (but aren't). Stab the air repeatedly for emphasis.

If you are writing, remind the reader repeatedly how fortunate they are to be able to access the high pinnacles of your ability.

Whatever you do, don't poke fun at yourself. After all, no-one dares to approach the altar of your ego without bowing down. And that's not ever going to be funny.

3. Ramble on and on and on
Why answer with succinct and precise answers when a simple concept can be expressed with paragraph after paragraph? If you really want to know how to be really boring, take tip number 3 and practise it day in and day out until your are very confident, that no matter how simple and short the answer could be, you are able to extend it into a response many lines long. After all, you have such an intellect that a mere mortal may be unable to understand the logic behind your short and brilliant response. Therefore, by taking a short answer and expanding it with great detail and spiced with repetition you are merely reducing the chances of being misunderstood.

While you are at it, remember that a subset of this rule is to go on and on about anything way too long.

And that includes writing blocky and chunky paragraphs on websites and in letters.

4. The tyranny of the vanity business card and job title
What ever you do, get two business cards. Get one that lists your name and occupation - say, film journalist, or photographer. Then go to a film organisation and get them to give you another business card and a vanity job title, like "Consultant", or "Creative Director" or "Executive Contributor".

Film organisations fall for this all the time. They dish out vanity cards with swishy job titles to try and impress other boring people at other film festivals.

By the way, it doesn't stop with the actual business card itself. Once you have duped someone into giving you a swishy title, you can start to fabricate imaginary CVs and career accomplishments and plaster them on your website. Behavior like this it, well, boring.

5. Ignore the audience
Resist the urge to speak or write naturally. A quick way to be boring is to completly ignore your audience and speak as if you are addressing an audience of one - yourself. If anyone challenges you and accuses you of being boring, remember that you don't care. Rise above such petty criticism. Becauue you are too beautiful.

6. Get some pictures
How many times has a friend come back from holiday, sat you down for a Friday night "catch up drink" and started the conversation with: "I have got to show you some photographs!"

This is a time-tried and tested technique to make you boring.

Get lots of pictures of you with famous people - even if you have to photoshop yourself into them. Get other pictures of you swanning around at film festivals (holding your vanity business cards of course). For added boring bonus points, make sure that these photographs are sited in as many exotic places as possible.

7. Branded sunglasses
Make sure you constantly flip on sunglasses with a large major design log on the shaft. Make sure everyone sees the logo. If necessary, nonchalantly gesture to it, or tilt your head 45 degrees to make sure they see it. Carry the glass case in your hand for everyone to see. Don't put it in your bag. Why hide your lights under a bushel?

If possible, don formal wear whenever possible. Girls: a slinky party dress mid-morning makes you boring almost instantly. And guys - haul out the shirt and tie. It's been true for generations: a suit, especially with a tie knotted a bit too large and a suit cut a little bit too wrong will make you the dullest gent on the street.

8. Name dropping
This tip is as old as the hills and barely merits mentioning. Dropping names of important people into your conversation is a sure fire way to become the biggest stiff on the street. For added marks, never use the surname. For example "when Quentin and I... " or, "Marty said to me... "

9. Let others fill in the blanks
Why substantiate your statements when you can make a statement, and close off with "well, you know... " and let the listener or reader decide what it was you are referring too.

Naturally you are by this point hoping that everyone you meet will be so awed by your intelligence that they won't have the balls to challenge you. And that, my friend, is really boring, you know... ?

10. Bad mouth others
If you want to get the "best bore around" label, start badmouthing everyone you can think of to as many people as possible all the time. You will quickly get known as the most boring person there is.

Filmmaking of Short Videos

If you want to release your short film, you'd better make some exquisite press packets to promote the short movie. This is a good as well as effective way to promote small-budget film. Sure, if you buy used video equipment or rent xdcam to shoot the film, you can take use of press packets to get the short movie known by more people. As you are not a famous movie director, your press packets should be attractive, so others would like to know more about your movie.
You can put several things in the press kits, such as newspaper clippings, press releases about your short film. Send these press kits to journalists, executives in the film industry and film critics. After these recipients read press releases regarding to your short move, your short movie may attract press and buzz in public. And more and more people would like to watch your work.
Put newspaper clippings, press releases and other printed materials in portfolio folders, which have plastic sheets. You'd better put each piece of printed material in a single portfolio folder. Otherwise, you can print all your materials into paper and bound these materials professionally. Each piece of material should have a cover sheet with the name of the film festival and dates.
Don't forget to write a statement for your short film, and the statement can tell the audience about the synopsis of your movie that is going to be shown on screen. If it is the debut of your short movie in a film festival, you need to write an attractive summary to catch people's hearts and allure their desire to watch your short movie. As there are many movie goers and critics on the festival, you can also write a summary for your video in a professional way.
Write biographies of yourself and key staff involved in your short movie. It is a team work to shoot a short movie, so you need to let your staff known by the audience. And journalists can also know some background information of your short video. And the press packets can also tell others about the short video's theme or basic tone or history. As you have printed many materials into paper, others can get some information about the short movie before the premier. Of course, you can make a special video to record the process to shoot your short video. That will be very interesting, too. Take pictures of your video producers and cast members, and these pictures are precious memories during the shooting project.

Why Is Hollywood Famous?

Hollywood is the place where the United States' motion pictures and television industries have most of their studios and offices. It is situated in the north-west of Los Angeles, California. It has many attractions for the film industry. It has an ideal climate, sunny and mild with varied terrain.

In 1908, one of its first feature films 'The Count of Monte Cristo' was completed. It shot in Chicago. In addition, by the end of 1911, more than 15 film-producing companies had sprung up in the area. Among the famous people in the Hollywood before the World War I have been Charlie Chaplin, Samuel Goldwyn, Douglas Fairbanks and Cecil B. de Mille. The 20th Century - Fox, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Paramount Pictures, Columbia, Warner Brothers etc. were along its greatest film companies.

However, with the advent of talkie many famous stars of the silent era virtually forced to retire. However, the greatest threat to Hollywood came with the introduction of television in the late 1940s. Many film companies had to pull down their shutters. Moreover, this brought a great change in Hollywood. By the early 60 s Hollywood had been supplying about 80% of the programs to the U.S. television network.

Today Hollywood is not only the centre of motion picture industries but also of the television film and recording industries of America.

Hollywood is the largest film industry in the factor of total revenue and second largest in total ticket collection, total film release. The films releasing worldwide with the High screens, no matter, today's Hollywood includes high technology to their Studios.

The picture shown is from D.W. Griffith's epic film 'Intolerance'. It has made in about 1916 and generally accepted by film critics and the public as one of the greatest classics of all times.

One adobe hut stood in Nopalera, called for the Mexican Nopal cactus indigenous to the area in 1853. By 1870, an agricultural community bloomed in the area with thriving crops of many usual and alien varieties. These occupants knew the area as the Cahuenga Valley, after the pass in the Santa Monica Mountains instantly to the north. Soon thenceforth, land conjecture led to subdivision of the large plots and an inflow of householders.

Film Making With Immortal Virtual Images of Historical Actors

Due to the incredible new software available it is now possible to make a movie without the actual actor. The software can look at the actor in various scenes, and those working in the editing room can control the actor on a digital basis. Once that is completed a hologram can be made, and it can interact with the actual actors who were on the scene, or put into a scene with various objects. Okay so let's talk about this shall we?
We have the capability to take Marlon Brando, Marilyn Monroe, and any other past actor and put them into a scene as if they were real today. We can make a brand-new movie with these actors wearing clothes of this present period, and it will look as real as if they were there. We are talking about filmmaking with immortal virtual images of historical actors. Yes, there are issues with this having to do with the "likeness" and copyrights. Still, many of the families of these former actors would be happy to release their likenesses considering the amount of money involved.
It also means that very famous actors such as Tom Cruise can produce several movies at the same time. They could actually be filming in one movie, and their likeness is being used in four others at the same time through digital editing. Perhaps he might get $30 million for doing one movie, and only 4 or 5 million for the movie which has licensed the copyrights to his likeness, with final editing cut privileges either from himself, or his agent. Can you see how that might work out?
A few months ago, I was in Beverly Hills at a Starbucks there near Rodeo Drive. I was talking to a young USC film school grad student about all this. I told him I wonder who will pick up the Academy Award the first time one of these films using an immortal virtual image wins an award for best actor. Will they have a hologram come up to the podium to make the speech? A hologram cannot pick up the Academy Award above their head and thank the crowd. The hologram could mimic what could be construed as an authentic speech, but holograms can't lift objects, at least not yet.
Indeed this is such an intriguing topic for the future of filmmaking, not to mention all the legal issues having to do with intellectual property, likenesses, copyright, future patented technologies, and so on that perhaps we need to talk about this more as time progresses forward because these technologies are nearly upon us. Please consider all this and think on it.